


Opportunities

by PrincipalCellist



Series: Behind an Office Door [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Atem is not so good with words and stuff, Atem wants and he wants and he wants, Blow Jobs, Boss/Employee Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, I know everyone seems to hate first person POV but I wrote this story YEARS AGO, I've gone through this story over and over FOR YEARS, It's been a Wild Ride, Kaiba is mentioned many times but he never makes an actual appearance, Like A LOT of blow jobs, M/M, Pining, Smut, WHAT...IS THIS FEELING... IN MY CHEST???, Why is everything I write so dirty oh my god??, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and I'm not changing it because that's a lot of extra work sorry guys I promise it's still good, they're so dumb i love them, until finally we have this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:13:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincipalCellist/pseuds/PrincipalCellist
Summary: A faulty latch on an office door, of all things, is what entirely changed Atem Sennen's life. You can only predict things after they've happened, and sometimes the best way to know the future is to create it.Back in 2009 or so, I posted a story titled "Without Realizing It" on FanFiction. I took the story down about two months after it was first posted and I only now finally got around to re-writing it, years and years later. I fixed things, added things, and now I am posting the story once again. I'm adding this forward to the summary because I don't want anyone to be confused; because, if you've been reading my works for a while, odds are that you have read the old version.





	1. A Working Class Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I've tried to cut these corners,_   
>  _Tried to take the easy way out,_   
>  _I kept on falling short of something._   
>  _I could have gave up then,_   
>  _But then again, I couldn't have, 'cause_   
>  _I've traveled all this way for something."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [On Top Of The World - Imagine Dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5tWYmIOWGk)

I groaned softly as I settled at my desk, surreptitiously reaching across my chest to massage my shoulder. Stress was going to be my cause of death, I was sure. Already, I had been on my feet for _hours_ , but my day had only just begun. I wondered not for the first time why I had thought working for Kaiba Corporation would be easy. I knew before taking the job that Kaiba worked his employees hard, and I also knew that the company was the lead gaming industry in the world - there was no room for weakness. So why did I ever accept his offer to work at one of his legal offices? Especially when I never once had any interest in law?

Money makes the world go 'round, my friends. Seeing all the zeros on my paycheck certainly made my job more bearable, especially when I was trying to save up to travel. I was born in Egypt, but all my childhood memories were of my life in America. I was excited for the day to go back to my homeland. But somehow, now I was here in Japan, working for the past two years as an assistant to one of the most renown lawyers.

This was also my third attempt at holding down a steady job. So far things were going well, even though I often got bored of routine easily. My first boss had been a gentle old man, but his second heart attack had forced him into retirement. My second boss had been a frigid, harsh woman who forced long hours on her employees that I only put up with for a short time before I quit. So I went from Kyoto to Domino, hoping to find a place I could do well and _stay_ in - not the quick month to month jobs I'd been working to get buy. I met Kaiba Seto on a train, which in itself was odd since he, and I quote, "never rides the bullet like some kind of low-life commoner." Regardless of his stern and somewhat higher-than-thou demeanor, he and I actually had a pleasant conversation that ended with him offering me a job once he heard about my lack of employment.

"Too many trips to the copier, Sennen?"

I blinked up to see Mutou Yugi looking at me, not un-sympathetically, as he passed by my desk, a third cup of coffee clenched in his hand. I only offered a sheepish grin, lifting my shoulder just enough for him to give me an all-too knowing look as he slipped into his office. Through the crack, I could see him flopping back into his office chair ungracefully, taking a sip from his cup. His expression changed into such a look of bliss that I could only guess that Rebecca had been working down at the cafe today. She absolutely adored Mutou and was the only one there who ever remembered to add the extra pump of flavor in his annoyingly sweet latte.

Already caught, I pulled my foot up onto the seat of my chair so I could rub my calf. I was twenty-six, much too young to be having the aches that I did. Mutou was younger than me by two years, but I could only imagine that he had it worse.

Years ago, having a boss that was younger would have bothered me, but with Mutou...well, it was just understandable. I had no issues admitting that he was smarter - and kinder - than I would ever be. His positive attitude gave him and the company the winning boost it needed, making him one of the top most well-known lawyers in the country. Though my legs ached, I knew it wasn't his fault that he needed hundreds of things copied each day. And I also knew that the recent busy season was taking a toll on him too, though he rarely voiced his issues. He was a genuine person, but he was reserved about his private life. He hardly complained about hardships and composed himself with a ready smile. He took people at their face value and honestly believed in the good of humanity, which I myself both felt was admirable and foolish. He was also one of the few people I've met that didn't think of his employees as just underlings. When he wanted me to drop the honorifics from his name, it wasn't patronizing; he honestly liked people to be familiar with him. Times when he requested me to pick up coffee for him, it was only because he was too busy to get it himself.

Overall, I tentatively called Mutou a friend. We've enjoyed lunch together and I've met his friends, and he's even helped me shop for suits. But much of his past was a mystery to me, and people were often surprised that we got along with our personalities. After all, I was more of the bold type; speaking my mind without a filter and not going out of my way to seem friendly. I was short but could hold my own in a fight, yet though he was my height, I could never imagine Mutou throwing a punch. My looks seemed to attract people, but my demeanor made them just as weary. Mutou however drew people toward him like butterflies. He made people want to be better. He was simply one of those people who, after you've told your life's story to them, you realize that they haven't really said much about their own.

"Sennen?" Mutou's voice drifted out to me and I stood immediately. Upon entering his office, I saw that he had the phone to his ear, looking down at a paper-littered desk (that I had just cleaned _yesterday._ )

"Sennen," He repeated, muting the phone, "I can't find those copies of the contract I was sent last week."

I held back a laugh at that and moved to the corner of his office where his cabinets sat, quickly rifling through a couple of drawers. This wasn't unusual; Mutou was very good at his job, but he preferred to do everything electronically, which left the task of filing all the paper copies to me. Paper was a waste and just got in his way, as he complained every time he desk got...well, the way it was right now. (Though kind, I never said that Mutou was a patient man.) I took over the job of the paper filing so he didn't have to worry about it.

It's funny.... Looking back, we never actually discussed that routine. I had just done it, and he never questioned it. I mean, that right there should have told me something.

I pulled out the file he was looking for and slipped it onto his desk as he resumed his call. "Yes," He said, shooting me a grateful look. "I have it right here." I stood back with my hands folded. "Yes, you were saying something about the land agreements?" Before he could lift a finger, I was reaching over and flipping the file open right to the document he needed. Another thing I've always done without him asking me to.

We worked in tandem for the rest of the call; him speaking to the caller and I flipping here and there to the papers he needed to see as I followed half of a conversation. Finally, Mutou said his parting line and hung up the phone, rolling his eyes.

"Idiot." He muttered in a rare show of agitation, looking at his watch. I examined the bags under his eyes with a sense of disapproval. "I know, I know. Stop looking at me like that." He said, feeling my gaze. I quirked a grin but did as he wished, dropping my eyes to organize the papers back into the file. "I still have a meeting in ten minutes...I need you to kill me."

"As much as I love doing as you ask, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Can't or won't?"

"They're the same thing in this instance." I replied simply, closing the file and returning it to it's spot in the drawer. "I'll make sure no one else bothers you until your meeting." I bowed my head to him and left the office, shutting the door behind me softly. I knew how important it was for him to have a level-head during his meetings, especially if Kaiba would be there. He was tough-ass, but he got the job done. Actually, I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that Kaiba hired Mutou just to make sure that no one else could have him. I sank into my office chair - my personal heaven was a comfortable, swiveling thing.

On this particular day, while the birds outside the windows sang and workers paced up and down the hallways, the inevitable happened. A faulty latch on an office door changed the course of my life in the span of a minute. I heard a slick click and looked over my shoulder to see Mutou's door inching open, as happens with latches that don't quite fit anymore. Without hesitation, I got up again to close his door and by accident - _I swear_ \- I glanced in through the three-inch opening, and what I saw nearly made my jaw hit the carpeted floor.

My composed, oh-so private boss had his chair turned to the side and tilted back, one of his legs up on his desk, his head thrown back with his eyes closed. If it hadn't been for the obvious movement of his hand sliding in the spot between his legs, I would have thought he was asleep. But no. Good Lord, no - he was _not_ asleep.

Yes, I admit it: sometimes I wondered what Mutou did when he was stressed. Maybe a spa day or a long hot bath. Maybe he went to the library and read or walked through the park. One of my friends from college became a surgeon, and she once told me that people in her line of work - and others with stressful positions - do something that's more common than you would think. They simply got themselves off. Apparently, that was what Mutou did as well. It was understandable; the surge of endorphins that orgasms created were as effective as a drug could be, though a hell of a lot cheaper.

Before anyone judges me, I did exactly what any good coworker and friend would do: I set the record for the World's Quietest Door Close and went back to my desk. And there I sat, perfectly still with my back straight, waiting to see if maybe I would wake up from this random, strange dream. If it weren't for my eyes being wide enough for them to roll out of my head, no one would ever think anything odd just happened.

But something _did_ happen, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Ten minutes later, like clockwork, Mutou left his office and strode off to his meeting in a calm, confident walk. Fortunately for me he didn't look over as he went by - I hadn't gotten my eyes back to their normal size just yet and my face was still burning like an oven. As the time went by, my shoulders gained some slack and I quit pressing my knees together. I realized that yes, I had seen something I wasn't ever supposed to. I had stumbled in on a private moment, but he didn't see me do it. Nothing changed. I could pretend that it never happened and things were all normal.

What happened? Nothing happened, that's what. Absolutely nothing. I was _fine._

All right, I admit it: I was naïve.


	2. How Did I Get Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"One foot on the ledge_   
>  _And I'm feeling for safety,_   
>  _Somewhere between sure_   
>  _And I don't know, maybe."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Where the Fence is Low - LIGHTS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWc4dABTTOA)

The days when Mutou was overly stressed took on a whole new perspective for me.

He'd go into his office and close his door and I in turn would find myself suddenly incapable of concentrating. I couldn't help but think of my boss just on the other side of the wall, because now I knew what he was doing in there. I tried to keep myself from dwelling on it too much; if I thought about it, I ended up picturing it - and that certainly wasn't helping me one bit.

It wasn't even that I was aroused by it, either. I mean - _yes,_ I was. Of course I was - but I was also really confused. I couldn't remember every having any particular attraction to Mutou before, so I was surprised by how much I thought about it now. Of course I thought Mutou was amazing and I considered him to be a very handsome man - beautiful in his work, even...but since he'd been so private about himself (and let me remind you, he was my _boss_ , so I never really went out of my way to pry), I had never bothered to look at him in any other way than platonic. I had never stopped to think of him in any sexual way. But now I did, and I couldn't stop.

Over the next few weeks after my accidental spying, I slowly started to find ways to excuse myself for thinking about it. If what I had saw popped into my head right as I was, say, taking care of my own stress... Well, I couldn't be blamed for it, right? It was only natural since my mind was seeking any clear, erotic image to focus on. I resolved myself to not feel badly about it. I tried not to.

I realized I was in trouble about two months after The Incident:

I was sitting at my desk, contemplating different ways I could maybe tamper with his office door as I waited for Mutou to finish - and yes, okay. That sounded really bad. In my defense, I was thinking maybe seeing it one more time would satisfy my curiosity and then I could move on with my life. Like maybe confirming it once more would make it easier for me to forget. Regardless, Mutou had a meeting soon with a particularly big client. One that was going to make the company a lot of money if Mutou could manage to get them to settle. He had been fixating on the meeting for a couple weeks, being as agitated as I had ever seen him before. His emails steadily grew more and more curt and he wasn't talking as much as he used to as he and the other lawyers played hardball with each other. And to top it all off, it was the beginning of the long remodel of the offices on the floor above us. Saws, drills, hammers...you name it. If it made a lot of noise, it was probably there.

The meeting was only five short minutes away. Mutou had yet to open his door and come out of his office and I was worried. I thought perhaps he had fallen asleep after...you know. It's certainly happened to me before, so I knew how easy it was to drift off into sleep after exerting yourself. I let myself have one more moment of hesitation before I got up from my desk and knocked on his door lightly. There was no answer. I figured the construction above us had drowned my knock out and I tried again with a little more force. Still nothing. Thinking I could explain it away if I caught him asleep with his hands still...well, that or die of embarrassment, I cautiously opened the door.

The good news: Mutou was not asleep. He had his head tilted back and his eyes shut, hand working quickly over his erection. The bad news was that he didn't have the expression of someone who'd just had an orgasm, nor was it the look of someone who was near it. His eyebrows were pinched in the middle, nose crinkled in a look of absolute frustration of someone who was feeling good, but just couldn't find satisfaction. I stared at him for what felt like hours, thoughts racing so fast in my mind that I couldn't even tell you what I was planning. A power saw screamed from overhead and Mutou groaned in annoyance, shaking his head roughly. My mind slammed into one of those walls we are often presented with in life, and I realized I had two options. Just two.

If I did the ethical, professional thing and left him alone, I kept my job safe. But Mutou would go into the meeting stressed, annoyed, and sexually-frustrated. There was no way he'd be able to keep his calm like that. But, if I chose the other option... Well, let's just say that Mutou would be fine, but I wouldn't be around to see the aftermath. Not the best option for myself.

Again, it should've been a red flag that I ended up choosing the option that would most benefit him, but hindsight is 20/20 and at the time, all I knew was that I felt compelled to help him in any way I could. Mutou was the greatest boss I had ever had, and a good friend...and honestly? Seeing him masturbate just made the logical part of my brain stop working.

I stepped into his office and shut the door behind me gently before making my way around his desk. I knelt down on my knees, setting my hands on the top of his thighs. I have no doubt that had he not been as close as he was, as desperate as he was, I would have been kicked in the face or fired or sued, or all of the above. Fortunately, he must've been too aroused to kill me, but his body did jump and tense under my hands. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him, but I could guess the expression of shock he had. Not one to waste time or second-guess myself, I pushed his hands away, pinning them to the chair on either side of his legs. I leaned forward, opened my mouth, and pressed the flat of my tongue against the base of his erection, dragging it up heavily until it flicked over the head.

Quite shockingly, that was all it took.

Mutou jerked roughly, his moan sounding strangled like he was biting it back as his body lifted from the chair. His arms twisted under my grip and he came, his cum hitting my cheek. He bent over slightly, becoming limp as his chest heaved with his breath, coming down from his release. I let go of his arms and pulled away from him, grabbing the tissue box off of his desk to wipe my face. Only after a long moment of silence did I somehow find the courage to look up at him from my spot on the floor.

He was still slumped, lips parted and cheeks red. His violet eyes stared right at me with such intensity that I instinctively looked away, feeling off-balance. My gut coiled with excitement and embarrassment and fear, and I didn't know how to react to it or what I'd done. I licked my lips clean and stood up abruptly, leaving the office without saying anything, like nothing happened at all. But now everything was different, and I couldn't go back. I knew two things for sure:

One, I would need to find a new job.  
Two, I would never forget what he tasted like.

A minute later, right on time for his meeting, Mutou came out of his office and strode past me without a single glance. I slumped over my desk, dragging my hands over my face and up into my hair. I figured I had until his meeting ended to pack up my things and run, but I couldn't get myself to move. I could only relive what I had just done; process the fact that yes, I did that and _yes,_ I had liked it much more than I guessed I would. My mind wavered between shock, fear, and an arousal that eventually had me squirming in my chair.

The sound of Mutou approaching my desk later was what finally brought my head up with a start. He gazed at me, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. If it weren't for the flush starting at the tips of his ears, I wouldn't have known how embarrassed he must have felt. I stared at him stupidly, trying to come up with something that would save my job - any excuse at all - but I came up blank. He didn't look like he knew what to say, either.

"I got them to settle." He finally said without any preamble.

I somehow managed a smile.  
"That's amazing. Congratulations."

"Thank you. I'm...going to head home for the day." He rolled his lips together, looking like he was trying to find what to say. "Uh, if you could finish up the left over paperwork before you leave...I'd appreciate it." It was the most awkward I'd ever seen him, and I was an idiot because I thought it was cute, but the next part took me by surprise, "I'll see you on Monday?" He phrased it as a question, like it was my choice to show up or not. I blinked, stunned. Confused. I wasn't fired? _I wasn't even in trouble?_

"I...of course." I replied, sitting up more. "Have a good weekend, Mutou."

"Yeah, you too." He nodded, backing away a little, watching me with an unreadable expression, before turning away and walking down the hall.

I wasn't going to delude myself. He wasn't inviting me to keep doing it, I knew that. He was just kind enough to not fire me for being inappropriate (and a complete dumbass.) It was my first and last time. I couldn't do it again.


	3. Blown Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"No matter what I do, I just can't understand._   
>  _Even if I put in my all, will nothing change?_   
>  _If it's a rule that can't be overcome,_   
>  _Why not change the rule?"_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [I Wish You - Capsule (translated lyrics)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYj0_dufXBk)

Come Monday, I had beaten myself up enough. I was committed to acting as if nothing had happened between Mutou and I, and I felt that he wanted the same. I was fine with it; I never wanted to have that awful sinking feeling ever again, like I had just screwed up my entire life in one moment. Work and the relationship between Mutou and I over the next few weeks went back to normal, more or less. The awkwardness from my actions diminished and we went back to the place where we could laugh and talk to each other without me feeling like one wrong move would end it all. Eventually, I even convinced myself that Mutou had already moved on - had probably forgotten about it.

I couldn't forget. When he laughed, I admired the crinkle of his nose and the bunch of his cheeks. When he walked away, I stared after him, wondering if he'd always favored his right foot more than his left. I noticed the little quirk he had where he either bit his lower lip, or pressed his lips together, when he was uncertain about something. I wanted to get closer, learn more, and yet I knew I had to keep my distance. He became a new feature in my fantasies, both innocent and not, no matter how often I caught myself and tried to stop it. I had never been too into the idea of risks before, but the danger of us doing things right in his office incised a new, startling thrill in me. I pictured Mutou's hands on my head, fingers grasping in my hair. I imagined him against my mouth over and over again. It was almost pathetic.

"Sennen?" Mutou called out to me one day, tone urgent. I hurried into his office and he muted his phone, "Did we ever hear back from that advertisement guy? I need to see his figures."

"I don't believe we have, but I can check again." I rushed out the door and down to the mail room, checking the empty mail slot with Mutou's name on it. When I got back to his office, he was talking again.

"No, I'm telling you," his eyebrows were furrowed, "we can't sign any kind of paperwork until we get a confirmation on those numbers." He looked up at me, hopeful, and I shook my head. He mouthed a couple vulgar things in silence, and I busied myself with digging into the file cabinet to see if I could find anything useful. "No, you're not listening to me," he said, curt, "We can't... No... Uh, yes?" He was quiet for a moment. "I mean, that might be possible, but...would they agree to it?" More quiet, and I glanced over in time to see his eyebrows shoot upward. "What, _now?_ You can't be serious." A longer pause, and then Mutou suddenly stood so fast that his chair fell over.

"Kaiba, tell me you did _not._ " He said, ignoring his chair, and my fingers slowed as I narrowed my eyes. I hadn't realized he was on the phone with our mutual friend, and apparently he and Yugi both were not having a Good Time. "You son of a bitch." Mutou said, smiling just a little. "I can't believe you got them to change their minds. I've been working on this for _months_ and I may actually hate you right now."

I snorted a little, knowing Kaiba could not care less who hated him. I stopped digging in the files and waited, not sure if he would still need me for something or not. As Mutou spoke to Kaiba, I found my eyes drifting down the gentle line of his body, gaze settling on the knocked-over chair. Memories of me pinning his arms down and being on my knees for him suddenly burned my mind, and it took me a minute to realize that Mutou was waving his hand at me. I snapped back to the present, straightening my back.

"Okay, okay. I can make it... Yes, our conference room is fine. Yes, okay. Yup. Thanks." He hung up and dragged his hands down his face, pressing his mouth downward.

"What happened?"

"Kaiba practices witchcraft, that's what." He replied, looking amused and annoyed all at once. "He got them to change their deal, so the figures aren't needed anymore. Not that we ever got them, anyway." He clicked his tongue, bending down to pick up his chair. "Unfortunately for me, he told them I would be able to meet with them downstairs in fifteen minutes."

"Today?" I was taken aback. Kaiba must really want this deal done with.

"Yeah. The freaking nerve." Mutou slumped down into his chair. "I mean, I get it: you're the boss, but come on." He shook his head. "But the sooner, the better. I am so tired of dealing with these..." He seemed to struggle with his list of insults, finally settling on, "men." He gave me woeful, doe-eyes. "How mad would Kaiba be if I just dropped them?"

"Honestly?" I pretended to do him the courtesy of pondering over it as I dug into the files once more. "Yeah, pretty enraged. I would advise against it, if you can." He gave a pitiful whine and dropped his head onto his desk. "Will you be ready in time? Here's their file."

"Oh, I should be fine as long as I have this." He said apathetically, eyeing the file I had just set down in front of him with distaste. "I'm a winner." He said, just as unenthusiastic as before.

"Well, at least try to keep the papers organized, Mutou." I said with a patronizing grin, tapping the folder a couple times. He stuck his tongue out at me childishly.

"I'm switching the first page and the last page, just to annoy you." He said, already opening the file. Not for the first time, I noticed the lack of color in his face and frowned. Something in my head was screaming that it was now or never. I had told myself that I wasn't going to risk my job again, but I couldn't help myself - if it was what Mutou needed and I could provide my help... I couldn't let him go to the meeting like this, especially with Kaiba so closely involved in the case.

I took in a deep, stuttering breath and held it, staring at the ceiling with my heart beating in my throat. Somehow, with more courage than I ever thought I could possibly have, I stepped around his desk and took the arm of his chair, swiveling it around so he was facing me.

He blinked, understandably surprised. "Sennen, what—?" He cut off when he saw me lowering to my knees, and I could see the exact moment when it clicked in his head. "Oh, God. Are you _nuts?!_ " He asked, voice lowering in volume. The answer was yes, but he didn't need to know that. I reached over to unclasp his belt. "Okay, wow - look, we can't—"

A part of me registered that he was not saying no. He wasn't telling me outright to stop. So I finished unfastening his pants, letting my fingers trail down his legs. He squirmed, lips parted as his fingers came up to dig into my shoulders. When I pulled him out of his boxers, I was surprised to see that he was already half-erect. He shied back, hands pushing against my shoulders, but he still didn't tell say no. I took his hands and gently pinned them down to the arms of his chair, leaning over as I did to give him a firm lick. I wanted to find the spot that would make him either accept or refuse my proposition for good. No more half-assing.

"Wait, wait. This isn't—" A small noise fell out of his mouth instead of words when my mouth found the head of his dick. The muscles in his arms tensed.

"Relax." I said gently, releasing my grip on his arm and using it on his length instead. I scooted forward and buried him into my mouth like I had been dreaming to do for weeks. He shuddered against me as I teased my tongue along him, eventually hollowing my cheeks as I came back up. Whatever else Mutou had been about to say got lost in a choked sigh as I dipped my head back down, knowing exactly what he was feeling, knowing that it took a strong man indeed to pull away from something that was just so good. He wriggled, hips slipping lower in his chair and I risked a glance up at him. I admired the way his chest rose and fell with anxious, excited breaths. His eyes were open, but his head was tipped back, staring at the ceiling. I wanted him to lower his gaze and watch me. I wanted him to remember that it was me doing this for him - that it couldn't be just anyone. Only me.

I slowed, giving him languid licks as I came up for more air. I exulted in my ability to make him surrender to the pleasure I offered, my own arousal making my dick throb against the constraints of my pants. I wasn't sure of the reason he wasn't stopping me. Maybe because he was so aroused, or because he thought it was pointless. Or maybe he was desperate to get off. Honestly at that moment, I didn't even care. I was just so excited that I had this chance again.

I opened my mouth wider and swallowed him down, almost all the way, and he let out a soft groan that sounded like air was being forced from his lungs. I explored every part of his erection with my tongue, and I must have found plenty of sensitive areas because he was soon twitching against me, breathing becoming erratic. I knew I could've spent the rest of my life down on him, taking my time and enjoying the feeling of bringing him close to the edge over and over until he was begging me to finish it - but we were on a time limit. I dragged my mouth against him harder, speeding up. A small, soft moan escaped me when I felt the tip of him rubbing closer to my throat. I would've gladly let him fuck my mouth, had he been up for it. The vibrations must have sent Mutou over the edge however, because his back arched away from the chair, pushing against me with the force of it. I gripped his thighs, holding him steadily in my mouth as he came.

When I was sure he was done, I pulled off of him, licking my lips for any spillage. I remained down on my knees, achingly hard and stunned that I had been able to give him a blow job to completion. My hands were shaking and I waited a long moment, trying to get myself to calm down, before I finally staggered up to my feet. I wasn't surprised to see that Mutou was staring at me when I finally looked at him. I didn't know what my face looked like, and I didn't want to. I was probably a mess.

"Should I call downstairs and ask them to make sure the room is free?" I asked, ignoring how rough my voice sounded. I instantly felt dumb because out of all the things I could say after giving a man oral (when I wasn't supposed to), I went with something as basic as that. "Never mind." If I wasn't flushed before, I definitely was now. I wiped my hand over my mouth, finally looking away. "I'll just leave you to it, then." I spun around, ready to make my escape. There was shuffling, and—

"Sennen!" Mutou called and I stopped, hand hovering over the door knob. There wasn't any anger in his voice, so I took in a steadying breath and turned back to him. He was half standing from his chair, hand awkwardly hovering in the air like he'd tried to grab my sleeve and missed. "We...why did you...?" He trailed off, uncertain, eyes boring into me with what seemed like hundreds of questions. I thought for a while, unsure of how to answer. Because I was horny? Because I had tasted him once before and couldn't get it out of my mind? Because it felt like I had no self-control around him?

All of those seemed like bad answers.

"I...I thought you needed it." I settled on, swallowing hard. "I thought it would help."

Mutou kept staring at me with an odd, contemplating look, but something in his expression seemed to change and darken. Unsure of what it was I said, unable to stare back at him in silence for another minute, I pressed my lips together and left his office, shutting the door behind me softly. I went to my desk and bent over my own work, resting my head in my hand to shield my face. A few minutes later, Mutou walked past me without a word on his way to the meeting.

I thought for sure that I was doomed, that I had really crossed a line this time, but later, closer to the time to start packing up to leave for the day, Mutou pulled a chair over to my desk and sat down in front of me. He spoke with me about the meeting and the final steps in the case with a straight face, as if I hadn't sucked his dick hours ago. He seemed determined to pretend that I didn't. His question from earlier did have me pondering about what he thought of our indiscretions, though. I knew he had enjoyed it and I knew that I did, too. But I wondered if he had protested at first because he really didn't want me to, or if he thought that I felt I was somehow obligated to help him in that way.

I dearly hoped I was wrong about the former, and I longed to prove him wrong on the latter.


	4. The Arbitrary Line That We Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t,_   
>  _So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road._   
>  _And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope;_   
>  _It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs)

The following mornings proceeded as per usual. I answered calls, filed papers, ordered lunch, made laps to and from the copier, and generously bought Mutou coffee when he needed it. All things a normal, good assistant would do. But I was enjoying doing all these things more than I normally did - I was in a good mood, and I wasn't sure of the reason. Things just felt...right.

On a Wednesday about twenty minutes before noon, Mutou poked his head around the door frame. "Hey, Sennen - call me when they get here, will you?"

"You got it," I replied, looking up from my stack of papers in time to see him closing his door. And then what he'd said fully impacted my brain, _thwack._ My heart stopped in my chest and then picked up double-time because, oh. _Oh._ I had a dilemma.

I could keep trying to "help" him, but sooner or later I was sure he was going to refuse and tell me to stop. And if he ever outright told me no, I _would_ stop. Perhaps I should just leave him be and keep things as they were between us - forget my desires, never mention the incident again, and move on. Maybe I could even find myself a real boyfriend... But it was hard to picture myself with anyone when Mutou was all I could think about.

I had to take one more chance with it. I would make an indirect offer to him and if my assistance was unwelcome, he could say no. He could stop me and I would listen - because hurting him or making him uncomfortable was not what I wanted at all. I'd approach the subject slow and give him plenty of opportunity to say what he wanted to. If the answer was a no, I would make sure we went back to our normal relationship. I would do it for him. I wasn't about to force my ideals on him.

I rose from my desk and paused outside his door, considering knocking. I figured there wasn't much point to that now, since we've already crossed a few lines already. I pulled on the knob instead, stepping into the office and shutting the door behind me. He looked up at me and I made sure to make eye-contact with him as I made my way over, preparing to lay it all out in the open. A bunch of different invites and pick-up lines ran through my head, thinking making him laugh would be a good start, but none of them seemed appropriate at the time.

"Will you turn your chair, Mutou?" Is what I settled on, wording it very carefully and gentle. His mouth worked for a moment, not really forming any kind of words. His eyes eventually flickered from me and to the door before coming back, his eyebrows pulling upward.

"Sennen..." He began, but didn't say anything else.

I took in a breath, keeping my face passive as I leaned over, splaying my hands against the surface of his desk so we were eye-level. "Will you?"

His head started shaking slowly, like he wasn't aware that he was doing it. "Look, we can't keep—" He cut off, eyes shifting down to my mouth to track the movement of my tongue against my lips. "—someone might find us." He finally finished, but his eyes didn't seem focused.

Is that what he was averse to? It wasn't that it was me doing it, but the fact that someone could walk in and see? I could have laughed at that if I weren't already so apprehensive of his final answer. Even so, my nerves didn't stop the warmth that was spreading from my chest. Yes, we could get caught and get in trouble, but he clearly wanted me to do it anyway. He wanted me. Maybe not in the way I might have hoped or desired for, but enough to make me feel like I mattered to him.

"Hm, but all you have to do," I replied, still trying to seem aloof about it, "is turn your chair to the side."

And there it was. In the way he rolled his bottom lip inward and caught it between his teeth, I had my answer. I wanted to reach over and smooth my fingers over his mouth to stop him, something about his lip-biting habit was starting to drive me wild, but that still seemed too intimate, so I held myself back and waited. The mess of emotions I saw dancing behind his eyes intrigued me, and I wished more than ever that I could read his mind. I straightened up and came around his desk, slowly kneeling down. I gripped the underside of his thigh and pulled it up to rest of the arm of his chair.

"Okay?" I asked, pausing. I wanted him to agree to this out-loud, not just my assumption. "If you really don't want to, say so." I tried to keep my face stoic, not wanting him to realize how desperately I wanted him to say yes. I just needed him to be completely sure. I didn't want him too look back on this one day and regret it. I didn't want him to ever regret me, in any way. "I'll stop."

He watched me with a strange expression for a prolonged moment, sitting still as stone long enough for me to second-guess the cues I thought I had saw, long enough for me to concider backing off. Finally, he came alive again and closed his eyes, letting out a lungful of air before giving me a jerky little nod.

I almost fell over with the rush of relief that overcame me.  
"Are you sure?" I asked, just in case.

"I am out of my mind." He muttered, but he nodded again. I assumed that was the closest I was going to get to a resounding yes, and something inside of me took flight and soared with excitement as I scooted closer to him, settling in between his legs.

Later, much too soon it felt, I was pulling away from him, licking my lips as he slumped down in his chair, completely red-faced and chest heaving. I tried to smile pleasantly, but I knew it was more of a bright grin because holy shit. _Holy shit,_ he was totally on-board with this arrangement and I could not even believe my luck. I felt like laughing in triumph.

"Is there anything else you require, Mutou?" I asked as I stood, ignoring the ache in my jaw and knees.

"No, that's all. I...um, thank you?" He cringed at himself, and I again had to hold back a laugh. I smiled at him again and left his office, heart still pounding. I was definitely in over my head, but there was no way I was stopping. Not now.

From then on, our routine changed. Work in general was ever the same, but now each time Mutou had an important meeting, I would go into his office at least fifteen minutes before it. The first couple times, he still was hesitant, but that never lasted long. Within minutes, I would have him gasping and twitching underneath me. I noticed however, Yugi didn't seem to outwardly express his pleasure. Sure, his breathing got heavy and there were small whimpers that escaped, but he seemed to be forcing himself to remain as still as he possibly could. I thought maybe he was holding himself back because he was afraid of being heard from outside, but his tenseness only made me want to make him a mess. I enjoyed what I was doing, enjoyed the way it felt to have him throbbing in my mouth, but I wanted him to enjoy it too. I wanted to shake him down, wanted to shatter his stillness into writhing ecstasy. I wanted to see the face he made when he could no longer keep it in.

I wanted him to want me. I wanted some kind of validation that genuinely liked what I was doing.

It was a strange point in my life. For the first time, I felt a staggering combination of emotions. Annoyance that I couldn't let my fingers linger on his arm or at his back at work. That I couldn't just call him randomly to hear his voice. There was a deep desperation to drag my hands into his hair, trail my fingers over his rounded cheeks, press my thumb against his lips gently. And I felt a prolonged sorrow that followed the desperation because I wanted to settle my lips against his, but I knew that was too much, too close. It wasn't like that. Not for him. I was not able to hug him just for the sake of holding him, or lay with his body next to mine. I'd never wanted simple things like hand-holding from anyone like this before, but perhaps that was because I'd never had to ask for permission. I was not used to being the pursuer. There was a new, fierce longing inside of me that almost hurt physically and I, never had felt that strongly before, had no idea how to handle it. So I didn't. I pretended it wasn't happening.

In order to keep myself from falling into a pit of my own messy emotions, I denied my growing feelings for Mutou, though somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I was falling. I reasoned that if falling for him meant more time with him, I would nose dive straight into that void, yet I was also afraid of it. Of the power Mutou held over me. If he smiled at me, there wasn't a single thing I wouldn't do for him. It was dangerous. Though apprehensive of my deeper thoughts, I was still determined to give him the greatest pleasure he'd ever experienced. I may not mean much outside of work, but I wasn't going to be just a disembodied tongue.

To prove it, a month later as I was "assisting" him, I made sure he was very lose to coming before I risked touching him for the first time. I ran my hands up higher on his legs, allowing my fingers to slip under the hem of his button-down shirt. He gasped, startled when I flattened my palms against his hips, fingers tightening as I pulled him deeper into my mouth. I drove him to an orgasm before he could really react to my exploration. And when we finished, I gave no indication that I'd done anything different.

I progressed more thereafter, beginning by caressing his legs and stomach before gradually moving to a point where I would be grasping his waist as he bucked under me. Soon, it seemed he was anticipating my touch. He would gasp or shiver when my hands met skin, or come instantly if he was already close. Even outside his office, he seemed to stand closer to me or find an excuse to brush something off my shoulder, pluck lint from my sleeve, straighten my tie. I'd gotten him used to the idea of being near me, and I cherished every moment we were close.

I was amazed at what we had and hadn't done. I had yet to touch him above the waist or see him naked but I had made him come, jerking against my mouth, many times. I had never kissed him, but I wanted to. Sometimes I grew dizzy with the urge to do so in those times when he was near me, or in the period after he'd come and I was looking up from between his legs, admiring his blush. My own breath grew heavy in my chest when I imagined it. Would it be gentle, or would he claim my mouth with a unyielding determination? Either way, it would be perfect and I wanted it more and more as time passed, but I was afraid. Our arrangement was already strange and I didn't want to go back, but I didn't know how to move forward.

I was a suffering man, but _God,_ if I didn't do my damnedest to hide it.

One day, when I was experimenting with lightly dragging my teeth over his erection, Mutou turned the tables on me. He spoke for the first time. "Oh, God—" It was a sudden moan and I pulled away to look at him, surprised. Eventually, a wild grin crept over my face from my achievement. I dipped back down on him again, being precise with my movements until he whined in poorly-hidden frustration. Abruptly, I engulfed his whole length and sped up, dragging another deep moan from him. _"Ah,_ yes—!"

I could have come in my pants just from listening to him. His voice was the most wonderful sound after months of silence, so I slowed again, deciding to see what more I could get him to say. Would he keep his composure? Or would he dissolve into nothing but cries and curses? To my delight, he stayed relaxed, letting me keep the control. His hips bucked slightly, and I moved away again. I waited there, holding the head of his dick in my mouth, waiting to see if his arousal would overcome his self-control.

It did. In only minutes, I had him rocking his hips, fucking my mouth, lost in the wild need of it. When he came, it was harsh. His hands shoved into my hair, holding tight as I held down his jerking hips.

I wondered what the feelings I had for Mutou meant, and what I should do about them. If I tried to change our current arrangement into something more romantic, I risked losing him for good. The dichotomy between our relationship and our physical intimacy seemed to be getting to him as well; when I would slip into his office, he would look at me with a mix of anticipation, desire, and something deeper that I couldn't understand. There was confusion there, too - as if he wasn't sure how to react to my presence anymore, and I didn't blame him. I wasn't sure what we were either.

Eventually, we seemed to reach a tipping point one cloudy afternoon when Mutou had a meeting scheduled over dinner with not just one, but two of his current clients. I went into his office almost a full hour before he had to leave, because I wanted to take my time during the session. He looked surprised to see me so early, but turned his chair nonetheless, watching me as I came around the desk.

As I worked on him, I deliberately avoided the tip of his erection though his hips lifted and searched for me. After a moment of teasing, he surrendered to it, letting his body relax. Only then, when he'd given me every bit of control, did I use my whole mouth, touching him softly like it was a worship. He twitched, huffing out a sudden breath, and I looked up, admiring the way he'd thrown his arm over his eyes, the tight line of his lips. In a slow movement, I buried his entire length into my mouth, pressing him past my usual limits. The shock of suddenly going in so deep into my mouth made him fall forward, arm coming away from his face, hand gripping my shoulder.

"Fuck!" He called out, sounding desperate. His fingers moved to the base of my head, grip tightening. _"Atem!"_

I was so stunned at his cry that I dimly was aware that he was coming. But I noticed his eyes had been glassy. He had called my name with tears in his eyes and he was coming and _what did that mean?_ It was the first time he'd ever called be by my first name. The sound of it being ripped from his throat was enough to have me squeezing my eyes shut and moaning myself.

That day I learned two more things: Mutou was indeed vocal, and I was officially done for. Forget about falling. I was drowning, hard and fast. But I wouldn't grasp the sensation of it fully until the day when Mutou trapped me in his gaze, pupils blown large with emotions that would have the earth crumbling underneath my feet - then Mutou would smile, bright and so openly sincere, shy and hopeful, with those pink tempting lips, and the fissure beneath me would just be blown wide open.

But that comes later.

From that day on, a barrier was torn down. When I was between his thighs, Mutou freely voiced his delight, though the cries of my name were still rare and precious when I earned them. I was also now allowed free roam over his body, and I wasn't ashamed to admit that I got my hands on his ass the first chance I got, gripping under him to drag him closer to me. The moment I first stretched my hands up to his chest, I was amused to feel his hips shy back, feel his heart thudding against his sternum like he was embarrassed. The idea of a man being shy abut me touching his chest when his dick has been down my throat more times than I could count on one hand was laughable.

I loved that I had wore him down, that I could feel his near-naked body quivering under me. I loved that he felt secure enough with me to not put up any walls between us. I never once suggested that I wished him to return the favor, I was content just helping him, and he might have been apprehensive about that possibility, too. For me, I was weary to cross any boundary that might prove to be too much. I knew that if he ever returned the favor, we would become lovers in truth.

I wasn't sure why I feared that. I felt strongly for Yugi, but I also had a bad habit of running off when things got too real. Perhaps just the threat of losing such a lovely (albeit incomplete) relationship was enough. Or maybe it was something else. I probably will never figure it out. Past me was an idiot; at the time all I was completely sure of was that I could not and I would not lose him.


	5. Cold Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think now is a pretty good time to tell you all that I don't know jack shit about legal professions or website/email domains. Just...pretend the things I wrote exist in real life, okay? For the sake of this story, THEY DO ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Oh, what a cold, dark world it is to walk through,_   
>  _Alone with a fear-filled head._   
>  _Thinking of losing you is a haunted song_   
>  _And a dread worse than the fear of death."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Set Me On Fire - Flyleaf](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbQC14NtIzU)

It was only inevitable I suppose that despite the enjoyment of our arrangement, something would eventually interfere and give my emotions a real chance to complicate matters. On a sunny Thursday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk, typing out a series of memos to different people along my contact book. Mutou's last meeting had been nearly a month ago, and I was sorely missing the feel of his body against my hands. I contented myself with the knowledge that he was a busy, well-known man; therefore, he would have another meeting again in no time. Until then, grabbing lunch here and there with him and his friends was fine. I still got to spend time with him. I could always wait to make him squirm.

Mutou and I had become quite the team. Though he had already been at the top of his game, my help had him dominating cases left and right, winning settlements in favor of Kaiba Corp. over and over. Our entire firm was loaded with more business, and I knew Kaiba was proud - though he would never voice that out-loud. He was currently speaking back and forth with Mutou about expanding our offices into another, bigger building, and that was proof enough of his approval. Kaiba wouldn't bother wasting his time or money on something he didn't believe in. To top it all off, he was going to make Mutou in charge of it all.

I sent off another email, glancing at my inbox in time to see that a new message had recently come in. It was from an address I didn't recognize. With a slight frown I clicked it open, scrolling through it quickly to see a long series of messages. It seemed I had accidentally been included in an email thread, which happened more often than not in any office building. My first impulse as to delete it, but a word suddenly caught my eye - my name. Unable to stop my curiosity, I went back to the top of the thread, reading over the conversation.

 _ **MutouYugi@KaibaCorpLegal.com**_  
_I received your quote on those renovations. Could you refer me to an employee agency to fill out our staff?_

Obviously, that was from Yugi. The recipient was the address I didn't recognize, but the name attached to it rang a familiar bell in my head. Looking at the subject lines, I guessed that Yugi was making plans and inquiring about the firm expansion.

 _ **IwazumiKen@KaibaCorpMarketing.com**_  
_As you know, our offices above yours completed renovations three weeks ago, and we also hired new staff. I am very pleased with my new employees, so I'd be more than happy to direct you to the agency we used. I'll attach the link to this email. I know that the Communications team also used this agency to fill their staff, and I haven't heard complaints from them either. They'll definitely supply you with the people you need - maybe even a truly qualified legal assistant._

I paused, glaring a bit at my screen. I was almost insulted. Since when has my work been sub-par? What was "truly qualified" supposed to mean? I was good at my job. It wasn't like I was here just because Kaiba said so. Mutou would've fired me long ago if I had not been performing to his standards. He hadn't once complained about my work. _Far from it,_ I thought with a smirk, the image of Mutou with his head tossed back in his chair stealing across my mind.

 _ **MutouYugi@KaibaCorpLegal.com**_  
_It would be nice to have my own paralegal for once... Sharing them can get pretty awkward for everyone involved. I'll definitely use the agency since it's come with such high praise. I do need help finding at least one assistant who actually knows their stuff. One I had before couldn't type their way out of a paper bag. Don't know how they survived as long as they did._

I hesitated, hoping that his little quip had been about his previous assistant and not me. I'd heard that she didn't last long. It couldn't have been about me - he always seemed so happy with the way we worked together. He's complimented me several times before. I was over thinking that. Had to be.

Knowing my mind was only going to go down a dark path if I kept prying, my nerveless hand clicked the delete button and the offending email vanished before I could even read down to the part where I was mentioned. To save myself from temptation, I cleared out my trash folder as well. Then I sat there, staring at my empty inbox, thinking deeply. Mutou would never fake his gratitude for my work - why would he? The rational part of my brain couldn't argue with the facts, though; Mutou _would_ need a more qualified assistant if the firm was expanding, not just a glorified secretary like me. He would also need a full staff, probably even a partner. I knew I was probably misunderstanding, but I slumped low in my chair, feeling inept. It was true that I had gotten my job through Kaiba, and I had never been interested in pursuing a career in law until now, so of course I was the weak-link in the chain.

I worked the rest of the day in silence, seeing everything around me as if it were a hazy dream that was too loud. I mechanically went through the motions, making sure to drown myself in enough work that my mind couldn't wander. I finished up and left work before Mutou did, hoping to avoid him for the day, at least. I couldn't trust myself to keep my mouth shut, and I didn't want to seem like I was attacking him with inquiries about it. I didn't want him to see the terrible, anxious part of me that I just couldn't seem to get rid of.

When I got home and fell into bed, my thoughts just turned more sour.

Maybe it was just a matter of time before I was pushed aside. Good things usually came to an end before they should, so why would this be different? I still wasn't sure if I wanted a career in legal, but it seemed to suit me. I was good at it. If I was let go, or moved, it would be better for it to happen now anyway - before I lost my mind and dared to ask Mutou on a proper date. I couldn't do that. He was my boss and his rejection would only hurt me in the end. Part of me still wanted to make an attempt though, even if the answer was no.

The longer I lay in bed, the more I found myself really questioning our relationship. I wondered if Mutou actually liked me, or if he only tolerated the things I was doing out of the goodness of his heart. We never had said what we were out loud - friends? Hook ups? I wondered if maybe I was just somehow being used for some kind of personal gain - that maybe it didn't matter who the pleasure came from as long as it got him there.

I couldn't stop the memories and fantasies from coming to me. I remembered the weight of his dick in my mouth, sitting on my tongue. The way his hands gripped fast in my hair. How his body moved and bent when I touched him. I had found paradise in between his legs and in the noises he made. I reached down, unclasping my belt and pulling my length from my pants as I thought about how his face had looked that first evening when he'd called out my name. I thought of how desperate he'd looked, almost crying as he came. I stroked myself, imagining him under me again, but this time he was naked, a blush creeping down his face and over his collarbones as he twisted in my hands, tossed his head back in a throaty moan that showed the line of his neck, and I bent down to gently _bite—_

The words of the emails came to me suddenly, searing me open, and my anger perked. The sound of his sighs became twisted, his laugh became cynical. The sweet surrender of his body became something darker, accompanied by a smugness of someone getting what they wanted. I bit my lip, hand growing rough against my erection. My anger simmered into something else - something worse. It was a despair that soon had me in tears, an agonizing pull of my heart. It hit me like a brick, like a building collapsing down on me. Crushing. Because somehow I had forgotten what Mutou and I were, had forgotten that we could never be anything more. That I had pushed and pushed so many feelings back and never thought they would come back so painful and ugly.

"Fuck." I said, the word coarse and ugly. It was the only think I could think of to summarize what I was feeling. I hated my own confusion and cowardice. Hated the thick blob of anxiety that always pulled me under. Hated the sick fear that was threatening to choke me from the inside out. _"Fuck!"_ I yelled again, climax coming suddenly and burning me alive. I curled up, orgasm ripping through me but not really feeling the pleasure. I was falling headfirst into my anguish, knowing that I didn't have what I wanted and I never would. So close, and so far away. I don't know how long I stayed in my bed, curled up with tears sliding over my cheeks, mourning over a love I never actually had. All I knew what that I was drained and alone. And that I had never felt it so acutely as I did then.

I loved Yugi. I probably loved him from the first time I went down on him, if the ache in my chest was anything to go by. Maybe I had actually loved him even before then, but didn't recognize the feelings until now, when I was forced to face them. That would explain why it hurt so much.

But I didn't want to be in love anymore. I didn't want it if he didn't feel it, too. I wanted the simple anger to come back - I was better at handling it than this desolate defeat. I wanted to be furious enough to storm into his office and quit. But I couldn't leave him, even with as terrible as I felt. The bizarre arrangement we had, the strange story I had written of our relationship... I had tried to wall off my feelings but there was too much. My emotions were too large and they overflowed and I couldn't hide it anymore.

Any other time in my life, I probably would've packed up and ran by now...but I knew that I had to stick through it this time. I had to stay long enough to find out what Mutou wanted from me, if he had any feelings for me at all. He was the first person I wanted to hold on to, and that made me brave enough to stick around and see the aftermath. If he revealed that he didn't want me around...well, it hurt to think of. But that would be that. So be it. I wasn't going to drop my pride and beg him to love me, no matter how it broke me to let him go.


	6. Hopeless Opus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Magnum Opus_ is Latin and translates to "great work"; it could signify an artist's greatest work or achievement. So, it only stands to reason that _Hopeless Opus_ would mean a work that never reached its full potential, a pointless work, or even a work that still has better things to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"So if you're lonely,_   
>  _You know I'm here waiting for you._   
>  _I'm just a cross-hair,_   
>  _I'm just a shot away from you."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijk4j-r7qPA)

"Is there something wrong, Sennen?" Mutou asked me the next morning, leaning back against his desk, eyes studying me. I didn't need a mirror to know what he was seeing: bagged eyes, haphazard hair, and my mouth set into what could only be described as a grimace. It had been a long night and a longer morning. I slept, if you could call it that. I was awoken over and over by dreams that left me cold. By the time I had made it into work, late, I was already miserable.

"I'm fine." I lied, lifting my hand to idly straighten out my bangs. His eyes narrowed, obviously catching my fib, and he continued to stare at me, concerned. For the first time, I hated that he was able to read me so well. He reached out to touch my shoulder in his worry, and I shifted back from him. "Did you need something from me?" I had been called into his office just moments ago under the impression that he had some important news. I could see the question burning in his eyes, but he was too polite to ask them.

"Yes, the reason I called you in here—" He held up a roll of papers in his hand, and I recognized them as blueprints. I heaved a sigh and braced my shoulders, preparing for the worse. "You remember how we spoke a few times before about Kaiba wanting to expand our offices, right?" He asked, and I nodded. "Well, it's no longer talk. The building contracts have been signed. These are the plans," he tapped the roll against the edge of his desk, "and I have a meeting in about an hour with the architect to finalize some last details. But there was also something else I wanted to talk to you about."

I simply nodded again, knowing what he was probably expecting and trying to plan out a way to finish him off quickly. There wasn't any way I would be able to make it through a long session before breaking apart, so speed was key. I wanted to make it quick - make him come and then leave.

"I'll be acquiring a partner, and depending on..." He caught my gaze and faltered, losing steam. "I was wondering if..." He stopped again, blushing. My curiosity piqued at that, but I was still trying to think about the quickest way to make him come. "There's actually something more pressing I think we need to talk about so..." He pressed his lips together, like he was rethinking whatever script he'd prepared for this. "Not just about this, but the other thing too. Um-" He couldn't seem to meet my eyes. He was losing steam, unable to say what he wanted to as his blush darkened and crept over his cheeks. I almost felt sorry for his struggle. "I mean, I guess I should cover the work stuff first, right?" He gave a weak laugh and I tried to keep my face indifferent. I had no idea whether he was still talking to me or himself.

Mutou took in a deep breath, seeming to restart his monologue. "It's not a big deal, but with this expansion I'll be hiring a couple new assistants. I wanted you to be an office manager or something, but Kaiba says it wouldn't work like that because that not how the new firm would be set up. But then Kaiba had the greatest idea that would work perfectly."

"Naturally." I replied, tone much cooler than I meant it to be. I had my answer; he wasn't going to keep me as his assistant. Perhaps the relief I had given him was all he wanted, plain and simple. He needed it and I had got him there. I knew I only had myself to blame for this, that I was the one who started our whole thing. I had no reason to be upset or hurt that it was ending but I had thought - I had hoped maybe he had...well, it didn't matter now.

Knowing this was the last time, before I could think of the repercussions, I was stepping forward into his space and pushing him backward against his desk roughly, one hand on his chest. He fell against his papers, blinking rapidly in surprise. If I hadn't been so rushed to finish him off, so trapped in my own turmoil that made me blind to everything else, I probably would have laughed at his silly expression.

I concluded that I was going to do this for him one more time - give him what he wanted, and then I would leave. He looked confused and as I unzipped his pants, understanding dawned upon him. It quickly melted into arousal when my hand found his length. I moved quickly, not bothering with foreplay as I leaned down and took him into my mouth. He made a noise like he couldn't breathe and fell back against his desk completely, crushing the papers that littered it. The blueprint roll slipped out of his grasp and landed on the floor, already forgotten. I felt my hurt and anger settling in, along with all the other complicated, stupid feelings I had for him. They pushed at my seams, and I let them free in the only way I knew how - by driving Yugi into a glorious mess.

I massaged my tongue against him roughly, waiting desperately for the moment when he finished and I could run away before anymore tears started falling as they had last night. My eyes were already stinging, but I didn't want him to see it. That would be mortifying. Something inside me, something ugly, wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't make him cry. I wasn't a cruel man. Still, I wouldn't cry over my broken heart while giving him a blow job.

He gasped, shaking as I hollowed my cheeks and sucked on him hard. I noted with a grim satisfaction that the papers under him would never lay flat again. A reminder of me. I pushed my hand under his shirt and gripped his waist, lashing at him with my tongue as my feelings fueled me completely. I knew every weak, sensitive spot he had. I know how to make him moan and how to push him right to the edge. I used all of it to my advantage, making him come brutally fast.

As he cried out, hands flailing down to my shoulders, unprepared for his sudden climax. I felt a distant gratification; he might have been using me for his personal pleasure, but at least I could make him come whether he wanted to or not. I pulled off of him, wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand. That was that. I started to move away, but his fingers tightened against my shoulders.

"Wait," He panted, voice so thick and heavy that it's a wonder I understood him at all. His hips jerked in aftershock and he panted, eyes opening to find mine, mouth opening again, "Don't stop—" He broke off with a moan when I trailed my fingers over his dick, unable to say no. Unable to leave. How was it that he could control me so effortlessly? Why was I still doing as he asked, though it hurt me? No matter what I did, where ever I went, it would always be him and there would never be anyone else. I was certain of it. I may have started our relationship, but he had all the control over it.

"Atem, please," He breathed, eyes begging and shining with something more than lust. It looked so tender and warm underneath all the heat, it looked like affection. But I couldn't have been seeing it right, because he didn't...it wasn't like that for him and—"Please," he repeated, head falling back against the desk. "Yugi..." I muttered, closing my eyes against the wave of emotion, against the love I held for him. It swallowed out my rough anger and I couldn't resist. I slid my hands back up to his hips, holding him gently. I took his dick into my mouth once more, working him back into hardness with every swipe of my tongue. He moved his hands to my head, fingers stroking through my hair. I let out a small whimper that was lost around his erection. I moved my hands under him, scooping him closer to me, holding him as if one wrong move could make him vanish. Yugi was like a deity, and I was nothing if not a devote follower. I looked up the line of his body to see him arching off of the desk, one hand gripping the edge of the desk above his head.

An image of Yugi stretched out naked on a bed of white sheets, gripping a headboard above him came to my mind, and I moaned. The force of the fantasy left me aching in a whole new way. The need to have him in a way a lover would, not just a hot mouth that made him feel good. The soft caresses and the sex and the afterglow, cooking breakfast for him in the morning or sitting together on the couch while game shows played on the TV, the lazy kisses right before falling asleep... I wanted all of that with him. Wanted the color and the sparkling lights and the _happily ever after._ I was never going to crave that kind of intimacy from anyone else. I would never love anyone like I loved Yugi.

Maybe I couldn't stay at my job, but that didn't necessarily mean that I had to leave. Maybe, without work in between us, I could get him to like me, too. With the way he'd just looked at me, it didn't seem to far-fetched anymore. I could ask him on a real, proper date. I could have him in the ways I wanted and not have to worry about the repercussions of it. It was another crossroad of my life, and either direction would change me. I couldn't predict the future, but I could hope.

I wasn't going to go down in his memories as a revered oral fuck. He was mine, maybe not quite in the way I wanted, but right now having him under me was enough. I could tell he was close, that he was trying to hold back and prolong it. My hands found the soft swell of his ass and I sucked him off, watching. The muscles in his neck tensed, proof that he was clenching his teeth. I buried him into my mouth, feeling the head of his dick press back into my throat, and held him there as his entire body locked up. His hands pressed against my head as if grounding himself would stop him from climaxing. The most beautiful, constricted noise I had ever heard came from his mouth, and it only took me one hard swallow around his length to finish the job.

"Atem!" He cried out, _loud_ and oh-so gloriously. I held him carefully as he trembled through his second climax until he seemed to finally come back to his senses. I moved up off of him but was painfully aware of my own erection, so I stayed bent over him, watching as he breathed heavily, eyes dazed and face slack in bliss. Eventually, he lifted his head and propped himself up on his elbows so we could look at each other eye-to-eye.

"Do you want to become my partner?" He blurted.

"What?"

"My business partner." He repeated, the lovely flush of his face darkening. I tried to make my brain keep up with him. "If you don't want to, I understand. I mean, I didn't think you wanted to be an assistant forever - but if you like that, of course I could keep you instead of a new hire, or I could get you into a different department if maybe you didn't want to stay in law - I know you didn't ever dream of having this as your career, but I thought - I wanted to give you the choice first. I think think we work really well together and I—" He stumbled, hesitated, and started again, "—I don't want you to grow bored in a routine. If you were my partner, we could split the work evenly, which is pretty much what we do now. But we'd be equals. You'd actually be getting paid for all the hard work you put in, but I don't know if...I just don't want you to hold back...This sounds so self-absorbed, but I don't want you to hold back your carreer..." His voice lowered, becoming small, "just for me."

"You want me to stay?" I asked, sounding just as idiotic as I felt.

It was his turn to be surprised.  
"Of course." It didn't seem like it had ever been in question.

With a short laugh, I sagged, resting my forehead against his sternum to stop myself from falling over in relief. And embarrassment. I had stupidly let my anxious thoughts take an idea and run with it, dragging me along with them. Now I had three concerns: finding a way to accept his offer without sounding like a fool, comprehending my luck, and how to recover anything resembling dignity after what I had just done to him.

"Okay." I managed, lifting my head again with a smile much wider than I meant to have. "Yes, I would like to...yes."

"Oh, good!" He sat up fully with a smile so brilliant, it made me feel ashamed. I was guilty, but it wasn't too bad having him grin at me like that. It wasn't a normal, professional smile he normally had. This felt special. "I'm glad to hear it." He reached up to brush his hair from his face. As if on cue, we both looked down and blushed at our situation. I scrambled back off of him and he fixed his pants, both of us avoiding looking at the other. "Wow, um - so by the way—"

"Yes?" I asked, pressing my hand over my mouth, trying not to be so damn giddy.

"A client in America was referred to me by Anzu," he began conversationally, moving around me to slip off his desk. He took one look at the crumpled papers and then turned his back as if pretending they weren't there would change the fact that they were ruined. I pressed my hand harder, trying not to laugh. "She lives over there now, but her business is still in Japan. She's looking for an advocate to consolidate all her issues so she doesn't have to monitor it all herself." He walked around his desk and dropped into his chair. "I thought it would be an interesting challenge, so I'm flying to the United States next week to speak with her." His face grew mischievous. "She's paying for everything, so I figured...it wouldn't hurt to bring along my own personal translator."

"But you can speak English." I said dubiously. I noticed the roll of blueprints still on the floor and bent down to retrieve them.

"Well yes, but I've told you that English was not my strongest subject. I've never lived in America - I'm not as fluent as _someone_ else in the room."

 _Oh, my God._ My jaw fell open, and I stood up quickly, the movement making me lightheaded.  
"Are you talking about _me?"_ I asked, holding the rolled papers in my hands tightly.

"Yes." He said, but his tone was a resounding _DUH._

"Go to America...with you?"

"Only if you want to." He folded his hands under his chin. "If you're going to be my partner, you should be there with me, right?"

"Right." I replied numbly, my mind again bringing up the vision of Yugi I had experienced earlier.

Oh, yes. A hotel bed would fit that image just fine.


	7. The Future Is Bulletproof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Living for you is easy living,_   
>  _It’s easy to live when you’re in love._   
>  _And I’m so in love,_   
>  _There’s nothing in life but you."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Easy Living - Billie Holiday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX7TA3ezjHc)

"Oh, yeah," Yugi said appreciatively, dropping his suitcase down on the floor near the doorway, "I could definitely get used to this." He walked around the hotel suite, admiring the furniture. The fully loaded room was all his, my own room was on the floor below us. It was smaller and had an office space, so I gracefully insisted that Yugi would have the more lavish room since I would be doing most of the paperwork and filing while we were here.

"So what did you think?" Yugi asked, sounding curious, and I didn't need him to clarify. Upon landing and arriving at the hotel, we had briefly met with our new client. She was waiting for us in the lobby, eager to meet the man who'd been so glowingly recommended to her. Yugi of course had impressed her in only five minutes, though he'd just been on a plane for fourteen hours and was short on sleep. I personally thought the woman was very pretty, but plain. I wasn't entirely sure why he was asking me my opinion, though. He would be meeting with her far more often than I. The question seemed loaded in a way I didn't seem to get.

"She was very kind," I said truthfully in a polite tone. I folded my coat on the back of a chair as Yugi vanished into the bathroom, an impressed whistle soon following after.

"There's a huge spa bathtub in here!" He exclaimed happily, poking his head around the corner with a look of amazement. "I feel like we're in some kind of rich Korean drama!" He shook his head. "Also, she may have been kind, but she was kind of boring - don't you think?" Even with the question, his expression was certain. As usual, he seemed to just get me. Rather than agreeing though, I just shot him a grin.

"Business is business."

"Yeah, you're right. Her personality doesn't matter too much, I suppose." He shrugged. "After all, that's why I brought you."

"Me? Why for?"

"For your winning disposition."

"I was under the impression that I was here to translate. As your partner."

"As you said before, I speak English." He looked mischievous.

"Yes, I remember you telling me about your class. How proud you were to get that big, fat C-."

"Shut the fuck up, Atem." He looked offended.

"Seriously, though...Thank you again," I said, "for bringing me with you."

"It's my pleasure." He said as he crossed the room to retrieve his bag. "If she's paying the tab, I might as well enjoy my trip. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

"You know, I _still_ haven't seen that movie."

"What?" He slapped a hand to his chest, looking scandalized. "You poor, deprived man. Why didn't you tell me that sooner? You could have seen it _ages_ ago! I'll let you borrow my copy when we get back."

I nodded a bit absent-mindedly, eyes straying over to the mini-fridge. I was tempted to drink all the alcohol in it before taking the next step in my plan but I decided against it, knowing it would be better if I had a level head. I had known for a while now where the path I was treading with Yugi would eventually lead, and it happened unexpectedly and all at once, but I wouldn't change it. I was completely in love with Yugi, and I had decided that I was going to tell him. At some point. I wanted to do it as soon as possible, but I didn't want to seem desperate or anything. I was going to ease him into it. Somehow. The sea of my feelings would never rest, so I had to learn to sail. I had hope, and it was enough to make me try.

"Yugi?" I began softly, still feeling a little excited that we were on a first-name basis now. I heard him hum in acknowledgement as he bent down to his luggage. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to help you prepare for your meeting." I looked over just in time to see his fingers fumble on the zipper.

"Oh." His shoulders were at his ears, but I didn't know what that meant. "It's alright. It wasn't so much of a meeting anyway. She just wanted to introduce herself." His tone was casual, as if I had been referring to preparations like note cards or a speech. I took that as a good sign.

"Still..." I shrugged, pretending to be wistful. "It would be a waste - you know, if you feel stressed about it..." I had decided over the long, agonizing hours of the flight that I would make my attempt as gently as I could and give him a elegant way out. Just like I had that time in his office all those months ago. But I dearly hoped he would say yes - there was something I wanted to try.

Yugi lifted his head - staring at the ceiling, I guessed - and sighed softly.  
"Hm. Fair point." Finally, he shifted and our eyes met. "But I don't have another meeting today."

"No, you don't." I pursed my lips, making sure I sounded completely clinical. Like it didn't bother me one way or another how he responded to my advances. Something in his expression looked amused, despite my effort, and I could feel the tips of my ears burning. "I would be making up for earlier."

"Hm." He hummed, the corners of his mouth were definitely lifting, eyes twinkling. He was laughing at me. "I see."

Okay, I admit it: his lack of shock or embarrassment in light of my advances threw me off. I quickly tried to back track, thinking I maybe was going about it wrong. Maybe this _wasn't_ a good idea after all. "I mean - I don't want to assume - it's not as though we'd just be—" Okay, _no._ The babbling was definitely not helping my case. I cringed at myself, wishing I could start over.

"Oh, right." He said anyway. He was being much too agreeable, which was suspect as hell. "Of _course_ not."

"I'm just repaying you," I managed to say, out of steam, "that's...that's all."

There was a long pause in which Yugi just stared at me, an entire conversation held in his eyes. I was worried about what he saw in mine, wondered if I actually did look as desperate as I was. Wondering if maybe I said too much - or maybe I said too little. With the way he tilted his head at me, I knew he could see my struggle, and he finally spoke up to save me.

"Don't you think we're past the passiveness by now?" He wondered, getting to his feet. "If you want to suck my dick, just say it."

My face burned, but he had a fair point.  
"I'm trying to be considerate."

He grinned and began to head over to the small couch, but I caught his arm, pulling him up short. I slowly walked him backward through the living area, and his eyes widened a fraction when the back of his knees touched the end of the bed.

"Honestly, I think we both have been sitting enough for today."

"I'll say," He agreed, but something in his expression seemed excited as he let me push him down onto the bed. He leaned up on his elbows, as if he was intent on watching my every move. I felt like I was being studied for some reason.

"That won't be very comfortable." I commented.

"It's already more comfortable than my desk." He shot back, smile growing wider. I felt my face burn again as I remembered how I had unceremoniously shoved him onto his desk the previous week.

"Quiet," I lifted his legs, and pushing him up further along the bed, "I'm trying to be romantic." His eyes snapped up to mine again as he rolled his lips inward. "And stop doing that." I said, giving into temptation and pressing my thumb over his mouth so he would release his trapped lip. His cheeks dusted pink and I took that as a win.

"I didn't even notice." He said as I pulled my hand away. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes." Not point lying about it.

"In...in a good way? Or bad?" He wondered.

I hovered over him, carefully removing his belt. "Both." I unbuttoned the bottom of his shirt and then paused, glancing back up at him. "Okay?" I questioned.

"Yes," he said softly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

I finished undoing the rest of the buttons and pushed open his shirt. He let me remove it from his arms before settling back against the pillows again. My fingers were already at the hem of his pants. I did want to give him or myself time to second-guess what we were doing. Sure, I'd given him oral before - but he'd never been naked and we had never been completely alone like this. Already, something felt different. In just the past ten minutes he and I had already communicated more than we ever had during the past sessions. In a smooth pull, I had both his pants and boxers off of him. Even after lying there under me on a bed, completely naked, he didn't stop me, and I let out a breath I didn't realize that I'd been holding. He was really on board for this.

Carefully, I bit down on his inner thigh, near his groin, and he whined. I was surprised to see just how hard he was, hips already lifting slightly, trying to get to me. Finally, the urge to look over him was too strong and I eased back, letting my eyes devour the sight of him under me. My eyes dragged up his stomach, over his chest, and met his gaze. The raw desire I saw being reflected back was enough to make my heart leap up to my throat. I couldn't possibly think he didn't want this, the evidence was so clearly laid out in front of me.

Unfocused, my gaze wandered down again, drinking in the sight of his sloped shoulders, his high collarbone, his smooth stomach where just a touch of baby fat rested on his hips. I loved it. It was different than what I had pictured, but so much better because this was real. This was actually happening. Overcome with a swell of emotion, I swiftly bent down and placed a soft kiss against his stomach, right under his belly button, caressing his thighs with my hands. It was intimate, but it felt like it was allowed now. Maybe it was the bed. I scooted down, trailing my mouth along his skin until I was face-level with his erection.

I blew Yugi like I was worshiping him; slowly and gently, my tongue rubbing and lingering against him every time I came up for air. I watched, greedy, as he began to move, his lips wet and opening wide in a moan. His fingers gently delved into my hair and I ran my hands up his stomach, feeling the quiver that moved over his body. I explored his torso, fingers trailing over every curve and dip. I was delighted to finally have such access to him. I wanted to explore every part I could - his chest, his waist, his stomach. I dragged my fingers down to his pelvis, toying with the sensitive areas I knew all-too well. I watched his expression as my fingers traveled further south, seeking his reaction.

His eyes flew open when he felt my fingers dip low under my mouth, brushing by his taint. He threw a hand over his mouth, staring down the length of his body at me with pinched eyebrows, but he didn't tell me to stop. I pressed against him, and his head fell back again, legs drawing up at his knees so his feet lay flat and I was encased in his thighs. He was making a new sound, something deep and throaty. He still did not tell me to stop and I preened, glad he was enjoying it. I sank my finger in to the second knuckle, hoping to coax more lascivious sounds from him.

"Oh," He gasped, red-faced and hips twitching. I pushed my finger in further, pressing and moving to find his sensitive areas. When he seemed to relax, I started to push in a second digit, massaging along the inside of his body. I twisted and spread my fingers, absolutely beaming at the obvious pleasure I was giving to him.

"Wait, wait—" He moaned again, stopping whatever he had tried to say. I wasn't sure if he really wanted me to stop or not, so I slowed my movements, giving him a chance to speak if he needed to. But instead of words, he did exactly what I had been hoping he would - he raised his arms up over his head, gripping the headboard, opening up his body to me more. I struck true against the bundle of nerves inside of him, knowing he was close. He tensed up, and I ground my tongue up along his dick, preparing to push him off the peak. Finally, after one more thrust, Yugi cried out loudly and released into my mouth.

As he lay splayed out, breathing hard, I lifted my body up so I was hovering over him again. I was sure I would never get tired of watching him fall from grace. Yugi took in a deep, shuddering breath and opened his eyes to look at me. His gaze flickered down my body and then back up.

"Do you want help with that?"

I blinked, confused.  
"With what?"

"That." He repeated, eyes again moving down my body hungrily. I followed his line of sight, right to the tenting of my pants.

"What?"

Yugi's expression was now impatient, clearly thinking I was being especially slow. "Do you," He enunciated, "want help. With this?" His hand suddenly grasped my dick through my jeans, and I doubled over, feeling like the air had just been punched out of me. "I mean, the whole one-sided thing is all well and good for some, but I like to reciprocate. I'm sure you're getting blue-ballsy by now."

His snark made me give an undignified snort.  
"I'll have you know that my balls are perfectly fine."

"Oh?" He asked, smirking. _"Prove it."_

For some reason, the words sounded especially naughty coming from him. My breathing accelerated from both apprehension and excitement. I wanted it - oh, God I wanted him on his knees, lips stretched around my dick like nothing else - but I was also worried about what came after. What would happen to our relationship once he did.

 _What if it became something better?_ A voice whispered, tone dripping like honey. I was weak - so very weak to it and the way Yugi made the decision for me, his fingers moving quickly to unzip my pants. He shoved at them, getting the waistband down over my ass. I tensed, still unsure. I couldn't let him continue, but I couldn't stop him, either. There was an ache deep inside me, and with a sudden rush of clarity, I realized my issue.

I was afraid.

Me loving Yugi was one thing, but the possibility of Yugi loving me was another. Letting him love me left me vulnerable and I was so, so scared that he wouldn't like what he saw, or that one day I'd be alone again.

"Atem..." Yugi breathed, pulling my face up to his. He brushed my hair back from my forehead. "Trust me." I stared at him, fascinated. How did he always seem to know what I was thinking? Could he read the fear in my face? I pressed my lips to his shoulder, taking a deep breath as the last thread of my control snapped away. I felt him press his face into my hair, hands gripping my arms.

"Okay." I agreed, but then I remembered: in my anticipation of the trip, I had not gotten myself off in a week. It was going to be all I could do to hold back and not come like some teenager during his first time. "Ah, damn it." I muttered, frustrated.

"Hm?" Yugi wondered, hand already back on my groin. Instead of sharing my pitiful state, I moved away from him and leapt off the bed, kicking off my pants the rest of the way as I sprinted to the bathroom. "What, do you need to shit?"

I laughed, wondering what it was about being away from work that made Yugi so much more vulgar. I unceremoniously shoved drawers open and closed until I found what I was looking for: a small, sample-size lotion that hotels usually provided for guests. As I left the bathroom, I lifted off my shirt, carelessly tossing it to the floor.

"Hey - wait, I wanted to do that!" Yugi said with a pout, watching as I jogged back over to him. When I knelt back onto the bed, he parted his legs, looking excited as he waited. I poured some of the lotion on my fingers, scooting forward to run my hand over his leg. I let out an explosive sigh, feeling jittery.

"Yugi, are you—"

"Oooh, my _God._ Shut up the fuck, Atem." He said, exasperated. "Do you think I'd be naked in this bed with you right now if I wasn't sure? If I didn't want to be?"

"Okay, okay. I get it." I got my revenge, however, when I thrusted my slick fingers back into him again. He lifted off of the bed, gasping as I found his sweet-spot almost right away. His fingers grasped at the waistband of my boxers, pushing them down and freeing my erection. I removed my fingers and applied the lotion to it as well. Had I known he'd been up for this, too...well, I would've packed some condoms in my bag.

"I know, I know—" Again, he knew what I'd been thinking. "I should've brought some too, but I didn't want to seem like I expected anything from you. But it's fine." His hands tapped against my arm impatiently, eagerly. "It's fine, so just—"

With my free hand, I cupped Yugi's face, watching him as I eased my hips forward, the head of my dick catching on his rim and pressing into him. He grasped my arm tightly, head falling backward and I resisted the urge to push in too deep too fast. I slid in carefully, stretching him slowly as I listened to him babble broken bits of words. I should've known he would be a talker. With the way he'd screamed my name before, I should have expected it. I rocked back and forth into him little at a time, listening to his breath.

"Atem - please..." He exhaled, pushing against me enthusiastically.

That's all I was waiting for. I reached down, gripped his hip, and pulsed my way into him, moving quicker but just as gentle. Every ounce of my self-control went to me not thrusting into him all at once. It was difficult, I was already breathing hard and losing my focus. Being inside him was much more intense than I would've guessed, but I should have. Everything about Yugi was intense. I didn't know how I was going to last through the entire act.

Yugi cried out, hands now gripping my forearms as he threw his head back again. He spread his legs wider, easing the tightness, and I slipped in fully, shuddering. I quickly discovered what made him writhe as I pushed into him, his body rocking and meeting me on every thrust. If there was anything beyond heaven, sex with Yugi was it. Or maybe I was just biased.

"Atem!" He lifted his arms up and over my shoulders, hanging onto me tightly, panting next to my ear.

I could feel beads of sweat forming on my brow I gasped for breath. I pumped into him, eyes taking in the sight of his heaving naked body under me, around me. I knew he was close, so I sped up, whimpering from the effort it was taking me not to come. There was nothing I could do to distract myself, though - Yugi was so exquisite, I had to watch him. I had to listen.

"Yugi, don't..." I tried to warn, knowing I definitely would come soon if he kept calling out my name.

"Fuck, wait, baby - I'm—" Yugi cut off, hips jerking, body bending like a drawn bow. I moaned, oddly high-pitched and desperate at the new term of endearment, my feelings finally crashing in on me. How I had wanted this so badly and now it was happening, and it was a dream and so real all at once. My thrusts became unsteady, rhythm gone, and I began to ease up, trying to see through the sudden blur of my eyes. _I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much,_ I thought, choking on my emotion, feeling it overflowing as I caught Yugi's gaze and _oh—_

_He already knew._

I cried out helplessly, feeling my own orgasm rushing forward like a bullet train as I stared into his eyes, intoxicated with how beautiful he looked flushed with the orgasm I was causing him, how he felt around me, and how complete everything seemed. My senses dissolved into that one point - Yugi. His taste still on my lips, the scent of his skin, the feel of him seeping into my soul, and the way he was watching me now, with an expression so gentle and fond that I couldn't hold on any longer. He drove me to a climax that was almost more than I could bear. It was tearing me apart and I was enjoying every moment of it. This time I was the one screaming _his_ name, and he was hugging me back, accepting every part of me. I lurched against him to maximize our contact, and my arms gave out from under me. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, sobbing with a mixture of my emotions and a pleasure that was elongated far beyond my average limits.

After several hard jerks and breathless words, Yugi and I both finally stilled. My mind was reduced to a blank state, like radio static. There wasn't a clock anywhere in my line of sight, but I'm sure it was at least an eternity before I started thinking coherently again. Every part of my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

Never before had I had an orgasm like that. _Never._ And it wasn't anything that I had done on my part, it was all because of him.

I listened to his deep breathing for a while, thinking maybe he had fallen asleep. When I lifted my head, I saw that he was actually awake, looking an odd mixture of dazed and content, his mouth soft and slightly parted in that cute way of his. His hair was a wild mess, a few strands sticking to his face. I lifted my hand and brushed the strands away, fingers lingering on his cheeks, brushing down the line of his jaw. His gaze shifted to me, and I pressed my lips together, nervous.

"Hi." Was my brilliant remark.

He laughed.  
"Hello."

We were quiet for a while and my heart raced as I waited for his verdict. I knew that he knew my feelings. With a sense of dread, I waited for the moment where he unwound his legs from mine and told me that this - the unspoken thing between us - was over. But it never came. Finally, I assumed he just didn't know how to let me down easy. He was probably too tired to move. I started to lift myself off of him, but his hands immediately gripped my arms, yanking me back.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked, holding me close. "We're cuddling right now. Enjoy the afterglow!"

"I just...I thought maybe you might be uncomfortable, so I—"

"God, you are so _dense!"_ He groaned, looking slightly annoyed. "Do I really have to spell it out for you? Even after this?"

I wanted to hope, but I couldn't dare believe it. He rolled his eyes and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck to pull my face to his. He pressed our mouths together, lips moving to part mine and it was so warm and soft that my head grew fuzzy despite the very awareness that we were kissing. My chest erupted in light and heat, melting my core. I held his face in my hands, caressing his cheeks with my thumbs and tilting my head to the side for a better angle. Yugi pressed up into me harder, nose smushed against my face like he was trying to communicate something through the pressure and suddenly I realized how stupid I've been this entire time. How ridiculously in my own shit I'd been that I never gave Yugi a chance to say anything. I'd just assumed his intent the whole time and he was right - I _was_ dense.

I pulled back from him, smiling and giddy despite my embarrassment because _wow,_ I put myself through hell and back when he'd liked me this whole time. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't _you_ tell me?" Yugi replied.

"We're both so dumb." I said, unable to believe how much time we'd wasted dancing around our feelings.

"Was your reason something about unrequited love and the fear of rejection?" He smiled at me - so big and sincere that I momentarily felt like I'd just seen a star being born. A supernova. Or a black hole that unforgivably pulled me into it's gravity. I buried my face into the pillow under him, trying to hide my blush.

"I just...I don't know." I shook my head. "By the time I realized the depth of my feelings, I thought maybe...I was sure you didn't..."

"I didn't what?"

"Like me. In that way." I answered, small.

"Well, I don't like you - I love you. Before you shoved my dick in your mouth, probably."

Something was obstructing my airway, and I shoved my head deeper into the pillow, trying to ignore the fresh stinging of my eyes. My chest heaved with a sob that I desperately tried to smother. Maybe if I shoved myself into the pillow enough, I would suffocate and die. I was mortified at my own idiocy. There was a light touch against my back as Yugi began to stroke my skin, comforting me, and I had to hold back another burning sob.

"You're rather sensitive, aren't you?" Yugi asked softly, but he didn't sound patronizing.

"Don't goad me," I warned anyway, turning my head to press my lips to his shoulder, "unless you want to feel my wrath."

"Oh?" He was perfectly untroubled.

"I won't be able to control myself." I warned, trying to sound threatening.

"What's your point?"

"I just thought I should mention it." I replied, finally lifting my head.

"Well, it's noted." His eyes gleamed deviously, but his touch was gentle as his hands followed the curve of my face to cup my cheeks. I could feel my chest burning like my eyes, and I leaned over to to kiss him for only the second of many, many times.

"Prepare yourself. I'm kidnapping you to see The Shining as soon as we get back to Japan." He said later that day as we sat on the couch and ate delivery. I laughed, absolutely delighted at the idea of having a date with him. "And then afterward, I'm going to eat your ass like dessert."

I choked on my pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Find me on[tumblr](http://principalcellist.tumblr.com/) and we can scream about stuff!_


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